Remember your first breakup?

This is sort of like that.  

Jeff and Tennelle and Addy moved to Colorado.  It was July, but I'm just NOW at the point that I can even type that sentence and not cry my eyes out.  I'm actually tearing up a little.

Do you remember your first breakup?  Surely you do.  That gut-wrenching, seemingly unending pain.  The gross, nauseous feeling you have that does not quit- if you eat, or if you avoid eating.  How you wake up in the morning and for just.a.quick.second it feels like it didn't happen?

The amazing thing about heartbreak is that once it happens a few times, it begins to feel more dull.  And really, breakups are NEVER as intense as that first one.  Maybe that's why this pain caught me off guard.  I thought lying in bed with tears uncontrollably streaming down my face was a part of my life I could check off the list.

You may think this is exaggerating, but to me, losing the Ryg's was like a break-up.  Wylie and Addy are not like plain old cousins, they are like siblings.  They are each other's little lobsters.  And Addy is not just a niece.

For the last four years, we had a four block walk to the Ryg's house.  Wylie waltzed in the front door and opened their fridge for an apple.  He and Addy would take a bath together at our house, and she'd borrow some of his pajamas for the walk home.  We had impromptu pizza parties and Saturday coffee dates at the park.

People tried to make me feel better when I dissolved into a blubbering mess with these gems:

• "It won't be different- you can visit!"
• "It will be okay"
• "Wylie and Addy will always be so close."

Here's what to say to someone who is down in the dumps, and sad and lumpy.  "I'm so sorry, that's terrible".

Because here's the real truth- it won't be the same, and while OF COURSE I'm happy for them, for right now, it feels pretty terrible.  We saw them three times a week in Indy, and will see them 3x a year in Colorado.  And, while it will eventually be okay, it will not be the same, and I am grieving for what we once had.

As I was sobbing into the phone to Mombo one day, she said, "You know, I have to admit that there is something satisfying in knowing that you and Jeff love each other so much as siblings that you mourn the loss of each other.  It's not that I'm happy that you're sad, but I'm just pleased that you and Jeff have that relationship."  Another real truth.

So as soon as we could, Adam and Wylie went on a trip to Colorado to visit.   They had an awesome time, and now we're just ONE WEEK away from seeing them again for Turkey Day in Indy.

PS:  It is getting better.